I went to Forestry school and the Lecturer explained that there are essentially three types of wood.
Hard wood, hard hard wood and hard hard hard wood.
The first is commonly used for making barrels for beer. At this the smart alec in the front row said "Sir, I assume you mean receptacles for the containment of alcoholic beverage." Well you might call it that the Lecturer responded but I will stick with barrels for beer.
The second type, the Lecturer explained, hard hard wood is commonly used for making houses for horses. Again the twerp in the front row interjected with "Sir, I think you mean stables for the equestrian mounts". The Lecturer responded....etc etc
The third type of wood, hard hard hard wood is used for making piles for piers the Lecturer explained. And very quickly went on with "And you, you smart young twerp, I do not mean hemorrhoids for the assholes of aristocrats !"
Sorry all, could not help myself.
PS A bit of teak would go well.
